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Harper Valley P.T.A.

I wanna tell you all a story 'bout
a Harper Valley widowed wife 
Who had a teenage daughter who
attended Harper Valley Jr. High 
Well her daughter came home one afternoon
and didn't even stop to play 
And she said, "Mom,
I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well the note said: "Mrs. Johnson,
you're wearin' your dresses way too high. 
It's reported you've been drinkin'
and a-runnin' 'round with men and goin' wild. 
And we don't believe you oughta be a-bringin'
up your little girl this way." 
And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well it happened that the P.T.A.
was gonna meet that very afternoon 
And they were sure surprised
when Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room 
And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say 
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
of the Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
and seven times he's asked me for a date. 
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
a lot of ice whenever he's away. 
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary
had to leave this town 
And shouldn't Widow Jones be told to keep her window
shades all pulled completely down 

Well Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he stayed
too long at Kelly's bar again 
And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's
breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin 
And then you have the nerve to tell me
you think that as a mother i'm not fit 
Well this is just a little Peyton Place
and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"

No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did,
it happened just this way 
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A. 
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A.